I suffer depression for years. I have trouble with my self-esteem; as well as having serious inferiority complex. i always feel like I am not belong to the pack; being hated and annoyed. My negativity often push me to the edge and almost drown me in my own inferiority. However, I am so damn lucky for having everyone by my sides that always pull my hands and convince me that life is not that bad. It will hit u but instead of being weaker, u will be stronger. I used to have that crazy thought of jumping down the bridge or cutting my own wrist. Then God sent someone to hold my thought back and show me how beautiful life can be despite the crappy shits. I hate being ignored as it will always make me lonely. Loneliness kill me and create a hollow in the heart. The pain is real and lethal. However, when I feel my emotion slowly being devoured by the devil thought, I pull myself back to the shore, immediately being embrace by the warmth hug from the one I love. It convince me again and again that I have my beloveds to rely one.
I don’t really need man, to enjoy the warmth of hug and attention. I have my family and friends; that I hold dear..in my little heart. And I have all the reason to live my life.